kirbyfucker64:

"how old are you?"

"It’s a secret :3"

"aiight so either 12 or 40 got it"

raybutts:

thisisjefficus:

THIS IS SO HELPFUL

REBLOGGING TO REMIND EVERYONE THAT NORTHERN IRELAND IS IN FACT IN THE UK.

raybutts:

thisisjefficus:

THIS IS SO HELPFUL

REBLOGGING TO REMIND EVERYONE THAT NORTHERN IRELAND IS IN FACT IN THE UK.

benedictcumberbatch:

221bec:

professionalmisandrist:

What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick

image

the-listening:

metalhearted:

today is the oldest you’ve ever been
and the youngest you’ll ever be again

let that sink in

image

  • season 1: drake helps josh w/ a crush
  • season 4: drake & josh accidentally sell an orangutan to a man who eats orangutans
proudlyinsane:

complete panic in one screenshot

proudlyinsane:

complete panic in one screenshot

VIVA LA PLUTO"
— Everyone who stuck with Pluto damnit (via plutokiid)
  • Josie: I have a new crusshhhhh
  • Matt: Me too! On a boy!
  • Pearl: You're a boy with a crush on a boy?
  • Matt: Yeah he's really cute.
  • Pearl: Oh.
  • (pause for a bit)
  • Matt: Boys can like boys. I just can't marry him because boys can't marry boys.
  • Me: Yeah they can. You can marry whoever you want.
  • Matt: Really?
  • Josie: YEAH my tia has a wife so now I have a titi and a auntie.
  • Matt: Okay. Then maybe I'll marry him.
  • Dave: (from across the room) No you can't you're seven.
  • (Age was apparently the only foreseeable problem anyone of my elementary schoolers could see with gay marriage.)
heyfunniest:

For real tho.

heyfunniest:

For real tho.

  • me: what are taxes and how do I pay them?
  • school system: worry not
  • school system: mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

thegirlwhocriedfoxface:

heyjohnimhomo:

this scene really got me. I think it’s a perfect example of people’s views on abortions. 

For 75 years 1000+ children have been sent into the arena to fight for survival for the enjoyment of the richest people. Then along with that there are a million+ children across the other districts living in abstract poverty. All of them too, fighting for survival. The chance for them to move up in the world is virtually impossible because they don’t have the tools to do so and the people above them have kept them down as much as possible. 

However the idea that a foetus, a blob of cells, is at risk and suddenly they stand up and protest. 

Too much value is placed on the unborn, and not enough on those already alive. 

(gifs)

SOMEONE FINALLY SAID THE THING *THANK YOU*

anjamoon:

staininyourbrain:

being best friends with a guy is extremely stressful tbh.

extremely. stressful.

I am fucking dying

shaky:

I’m stuck between wanting:

1. A long lasting relationship with my soulmate who supports me and protects me and is my partner and we are completely bad ass together and in love

2. Wanting to have casual sex and rip out the heart of everyone person I meet

3. Being independent and having a loyal dog while I’m married to my career

Teaching kids to give handjobs since the 90s

sam-shuts-his-cakehole:

itskaleena:

whyiseveryonefalling:

scotchcarousel:

the-funkiest-penguin:

friendly-pedophile:

bellamyyoung:

yourgayfriend:

emisummerful:

image

You know you’re a lesbian when: You put your finger in it instead.

image

OH GOD, I ONLY EVER PUT MY FINGERS IN THEM. 

I did both…image

i did both. i also bent it, what does that tell me now

You kinky son of a bitch.

I used to step on mine until they exploded.

image

i fucking hated those things

Found the asexual